Monthly Archive for May, 2008

Moving forwards

Some times are settled - people are happy in their lives just doing what they do. Others settle for less, they plod on, furrowing a known track because the alternative is an unmarked path and it can be scary to strike out in a new direction.

But this isn’t one of those times - this is one of the times when change is in the air and you’d better watch out because like it or not it’s coming through and spinning people off in new directions.

The trick with change, like strong winds, is not to resist but to lean in and let it propel you forwards. It may be somewhere unexpected but if the wind is strong enough it’s taking you along anyway, so what use is resistance?

All around me I see changes taking place. A friend who has decided that her relationship is no good for here. She should be sad but instead the person she couldn’t be while she was with him is emerging from the chrysalis of the outgrown relationship and finding her wings.

Another, considering a change of career, finding that a cerebral office job might not be as intellectually satisfying as building something using her hands.

I think change might be contagious. Ever noticed how there’s never just one relationship breakdown: when you hear of one there are always more around the corner? Maybe it’s as simple as one person leading the way, showing that it’s possible to survive and thrive on major life changes. There is always a way out of a stuck situation. It’s never too late. There are solutions, new horizons. Or maybe it is something in the air, in the times, but whatever it is, there is change all around me.

It’s been a week full of goodbyes. On Thursday night I went to my work leaving party and it was probably the best leaving party I will ever have. We went to a café we used to go to every day at lunchtimes or after work. The beer flowed and so did the conversation.
Beer o'clock

They bought me presents - a beautiful letter opener and pen, a cookbook full of the recipes we’ve made for each other over the years, complete with photos, professionally bound by one of my colleagues.

And a crazy alphabet book with a rhyme for every letter (yes b was for blogging and f was for flickr) illustrated with my own photos.

Someone made a speech and I was reminded of exactly how much I have achieved there in the last 7 years, and put together I have to admit that it was a pretty impressive list. I am amazed at what we achieved. And in the speech they even quoted from my blog. (I didn’t know anyone from work read it). I’ll let you into a secret - it brought me to tears.

With all that love, all that familyness from my wonderful ex-colleagues (that ex bit still feels wrong but I’ll get used to it) I should have some regret.

But the truth is I don’t. Because after 7 years I was finding it hard to keep in mind those great achievements, I found it hard to remember the monumental changes. And you need to keep them in mind, you need something to keep you going through the tough times, especially when the victories are few and far between.

So though I’ll miss that amazing and crazy family of colleagues, and though, honestly, I know that despite good intentions most of us will lose touch over time, I’m happy knowing that someone else will come to that job with new energy, with their own ideas that they can use to start making their own changes.

They’ll bring their own recipes to the collection, and maybe one day they’ll get an alphabet book of their own and it will be someone else’s turn to make the changes. That’s how it goes and it’s a good thing. Without change there’s no moving forward, and I’m not a person who likes to stand still.

For sale

Our flat went on sale last week.

Finally, after filling in endless forms and draft brochures going back and forth for revision and correction (you won’t be surprised to learn that I couldn’t resist editing the English translation), the flat went on the market on Friday. We’d had the for sale sign propped up on the windowsill for more than a week but until it went up on the outside of the building it wouldn’t be real.

21/52

By Monday, the first viewing had taken place and another 5 people were clamouring for appointments.

Over here, unlike in the UK, the owner is advised to make themselves scarce when prospective buyers turn up. So we went out in the rain to while away an hour or so and get ourselves some lunch. We played at being tourists, sitting in the Hard Rock Café and tried not to talk about it, tried not to even think that the first set of viewings would yield any interest. It’s a really strange feeling to know that people are in your home, assessing it, making decisions about it, yet there is nothing you can do to influence the outcomes, and you have no idea how it’s going. Will the agent remember to show them the roof garden (when I first saw the flat, he forgot it existed?. Will he remember to turn on the kitchen lights, and emphasise that the messy floor in the entrance hall will be repaired as soon as the building insurers pay up?

We wandered home slowly, knowing the agent would phone, but not even talking about it, not admitting that we hoped smething would happen before we leave Amsterdam at the end of this week. Realistically, we knew it wouldn’t but that doesn’t stop hope creeping in. But as we rounded the corner and saw the for sale sign, tacked on the window, we knew that at least it was real.

Amazingly, by 5 pm we had one firm offer and another possible. By noon the next day, less than 24 hours after that sign went up, the sale was agreed.

Now the zone of calm I’ve been living is has been pierced by a wheel of action and there is so much to arrange. Yesterday we had get our names off the Amsterdam register, giving us proof that we are leaving the country so that our health insurance and internet connection will be cancelled (everyone else took our word for it). Today the removal company arrives to poke aorund and quote for the removal. There are inventories and lists to make, packing to start, and my work leaving party this evening.

There are still some friends to meet one last time to say goodbye. So much to do, but things are moving fast.